Memory Lane II
I always thought I would graduate from college at 19, and be free to live my life as I please. I have always been an avid fan of Harley's and the stereotype that came with that (blond bimbo hag with bright fuschia lipstick in my skin-tight leather garb, chugging on beer and riding behind my big burley man with his long beard and black Ray-Bans, and hugging his back for the rest of my life), own a few pups and cats, amongst other critters. I do regard myself as a free spirit still. I wanted to explore the world, bungee jump and sky dive and explore the oceans, live in the Amazon and tackle crocodiles, wear necklaces made of bones and cover my privates with leaves, ride horseback, naked, down the beach.
Unfortunately, nothing goes according to plan. The master plan I had set out for myself, of adventurous grandeur, dispersed faster than my ciggie smoke. I didn't graduate at 19, I'm a student at KU. Been a student at KU for 7 years now, and counting.
My latest plan, which seems to be dispersing as I type, was to graduate and earn a Masters degree in translation and interpretation. From Australia. Australia, which was supposed to be my playground. Where I would get my Harley, sky dive and bungee jump off the Sydney bridge, swim with dolphins, learn to surf and be this hot surfer girl donning my Billabong attire like a badge of pride and honor, and ultimately meet the man of my dreams. The man who would be able to tame the shrew that I am.
There was an announcement in the newspaper a few days ago, job opportunities at KU. One of the jobs was to work as a translator. I received a call from mom this morning, telling me that she had filled an application form for me, and that I have to go to the Al-Khawarizmi institute tomorrow and sign up for the ICDL program, after which she asked me what I wanted from the Co-op.
The Co-op. The only time when I have an opinion on what I want. I don't have a say when it comes to my dreams, what I want from life, my ambitions, nada. I don't have a say in who my husband is going to be, what my job is going to be, how I dress or carry myself, who I do and don't talk to, basically what I'm going to do with the rest of my life or how I'm going to live my life.
My life. How ironic.
The funny thing is, my parents married for love. You'd think they'd be more open to a little diversity in life, being as exposed to various cultures as they are. Being as well-learned as they are. I guess some things never change, no matter how much someone claims to be open-minded and educated.
Yes I will admit I'm fortunate to have some privileges. I drive a car, I have a decent allowance, I'm majoring in what I want to major in, they haven't forced me to wear a Hijab (though if dad could've had his way, I'd have been in a Burga' a long time ago- thank God mom doesn't wear a Hijab, so dad couldn't really do anything about that issue). I'm out of the house as early as 6 in the morning and don't come back before 10 or 11 at night, and that's only because my mom isn't home to monitor me, thus can't control what I do and don't do, and I don't talk to dad - he gave up on me a long time ago. Three years ago, to be exact, when I "disgraced" him. According to him, I couldn't possibly do any more damage than I've already done, so to hell with me and what I do.
The latest thing I don't have a say in is whether I am going to fulfill my dream of earning a Masters degree in Australia. It's all in the hands of what happens when Mr. Mystery Bachelor shows up this week. Whether the buyers like the furniture they see, and ultimately buy it (me) or not.
You guys keep asking me why I don't just say "no". Just say "NO" Dodo. It's easy. Just confront your mom. She'll understand that it's not what you want, not what you wish for.
Will she really? She didn't ask for my opinion on the matter for me to agree or disagree with what's going on. Do you really think she even cares what I think? What I want? She didn't care about something as trivial as what I wanted to wear for the occasion, going out and buying an outfit for me. You think she will care whether I want to marry Mr. Bachelor or not? You think she trusts me enough for me to make my own decision regarding the matter? Hah!
Since I found out about Mr Bachelor, I haven't been able to sleep, I haven't gone to school, I haven't stepped out of my room, I can't eat, I have serious palpitations, I can't think without giving myself a headache. As if I wasn't depressed enough as it was already.
I'm not ready to give up my dreams. My Ganoo9. Our plans. And Dandoon. I couldn't help but laugh at Purg's post, about how women are submissive, in a conniving way.
If only you knew.
Unfortunately, nothing goes according to plan. The master plan I had set out for myself, of adventurous grandeur, dispersed faster than my ciggie smoke. I didn't graduate at 19, I'm a student at KU. Been a student at KU for 7 years now, and counting.
My latest plan, which seems to be dispersing as I type, was to graduate and earn a Masters degree in translation and interpretation. From Australia. Australia, which was supposed to be my playground. Where I would get my Harley, sky dive and bungee jump off the Sydney bridge, swim with dolphins, learn to surf and be this hot surfer girl donning my Billabong attire like a badge of pride and honor, and ultimately meet the man of my dreams. The man who would be able to tame the shrew that I am.
There was an announcement in the newspaper a few days ago, job opportunities at KU. One of the jobs was to work as a translator. I received a call from mom this morning, telling me that she had filled an application form for me, and that I have to go to the Al-Khawarizmi institute tomorrow and sign up for the ICDL program, after which she asked me what I wanted from the Co-op.
The Co-op. The only time when I have an opinion on what I want. I don't have a say when it comes to my dreams, what I want from life, my ambitions, nada. I don't have a say in who my husband is going to be, what my job is going to be, how I dress or carry myself, who I do and don't talk to, basically what I'm going to do with the rest of my life or how I'm going to live my life.
My life. How ironic.
The funny thing is, my parents married for love. You'd think they'd be more open to a little diversity in life, being as exposed to various cultures as they are. Being as well-learned as they are. I guess some things never change, no matter how much someone claims to be open-minded and educated.
Yes I will admit I'm fortunate to have some privileges. I drive a car, I have a decent allowance, I'm majoring in what I want to major in, they haven't forced me to wear a Hijab (though if dad could've had his way, I'd have been in a Burga' a long time ago- thank God mom doesn't wear a Hijab, so dad couldn't really do anything about that issue). I'm out of the house as early as 6 in the morning and don't come back before 10 or 11 at night, and that's only because my mom isn't home to monitor me, thus can't control what I do and don't do, and I don't talk to dad - he gave up on me a long time ago. Three years ago, to be exact, when I "disgraced" him. According to him, I couldn't possibly do any more damage than I've already done, so to hell with me and what I do.
The latest thing I don't have a say in is whether I am going to fulfill my dream of earning a Masters degree in Australia. It's all in the hands of what happens when Mr. Mystery Bachelor shows up this week. Whether the buyers like the furniture they see, and ultimately buy it (me) or not.
You guys keep asking me why I don't just say "no". Just say "NO" Dodo. It's easy. Just confront your mom. She'll understand that it's not what you want, not what you wish for.
Will she really? She didn't ask for my opinion on the matter for me to agree or disagree with what's going on. Do you really think she even cares what I think? What I want? She didn't care about something as trivial as what I wanted to wear for the occasion, going out and buying an outfit for me. You think she will care whether I want to marry Mr. Bachelor or not? You think she trusts me enough for me to make my own decision regarding the matter? Hah!
Since I found out about Mr Bachelor, I haven't been able to sleep, I haven't gone to school, I haven't stepped out of my room, I can't eat, I have serious palpitations, I can't think without giving myself a headache. As if I wasn't depressed enough as it was already.
I'm not ready to give up my dreams. My Ganoo9. Our plans. And Dandoon. I couldn't help but laugh at Purg's post, about how women are submissive, in a conniving way.
If only you knew.
posted by Extinct Dodo at 1:05 PM
19 Comments:
hey cookie
so ur mom eh? she filled up the application for u like u said .. 3ayal she already accepted to marry the guy on your behalf :P
i didnt know u and your ganoo9 had plans? marriage? if so... let him step up before its too late .. im getting myself into personal issues ha? razait wayhe 3ade amooon :)
i say meet the guy .. maybe ul like him .. if u do .. tashre6een ena u get ur masters !! i hope he doesnt have a mom like those in kuwaity soap operas ! el mohem 7abebti good luck and use ur brains and time well to think about this .. this will affect the rest of ur life !!
think well
and be happyyyyyyyyy dont woooooooorrrryy
sweety
ekhnegatne el3abra 3ala ur post
i agree with abadi 3ala ur ganoo9
he should step up
and if wat u really want is to go to austrailia u can always mess up ur interview
i hope things work out the way u want :**
reading this post u remind me of someone i hold near n dear to my heart
i could have sworn it was u, except they are nt in q8 ..
It’s because your parents know what it costs to marry for love and what comes with such decision,
that they dont want you to go through the same thing.
Good luck Woman . keep it down.
And just an advice on the go, from a complete stranger. that you might think what the hell do I want or start cussing, bes keep some things to yourself. "Previous post”. After all you allow comments so you shouldn’t get pissed from an advice.
Personal is good, I know the whole idea of a blog is to write down whatever you want and remain anonymous but maybe your not so anonymous…
you will not get married.
"Enmity is anger watching the opportunity for revenge."...I can’t say that I know what your going through or contemplate the amount of pain that you are suffering, yet it just seems to me that this Memory Lane/ “Coming out” post is an indirect action towards your family and an act to try and ruin the Mr. Bachelor plan.. .Revealing yourself might have made you feel better for now, as well as showing a lot of courage, but have you thought about long terms :/
Nevertheless, I guess everyone has their own form of therapy and ways of dealing with issues, and who am I to tell you to do so differently…Hey, my analysis of this post might be wrong and way of, and I apologize if it is…Yet, it seems to me like you are an intelligent and independent person who knows what’s right and wrong and capable of making the right decision :)
Last but not least, I wish you the best of luck and hope things go the way you plan!! Also, hats down for being bold in both of your posts, you have surely taken the “stereotypical” Kuwaiti to another level ;)
ps: if you need any help or just want to release some steam, please do not hesitate to contact me at anytime...take care :)
3adi dodo don’t be such a wuss, repent, you have the rest of your life to makeup for your mistakes.
I think you’re just giving up on yourself allowing your mom to take over. For some reason I see that you’re accepting that, overwhelmed in a certain way, given your history of bad choices. I don’t think you’re looking for an answer here. Maybe you are seeking acceptance. And to tell you the truth I see nothing wrong with you, that doesn’t mean that I support your behavior, yet you’re just a brilliant disappointment. Its obvious that your not at ease with your self, and that’s a good sign, so what will you choose for your self this time?
djcxdymThat is so wierd. I had a plan. Graduate by 22 and have a PHD from Australia by 28. So far im a semester late haha! But that still means my plan is not gonna go on time! Sorry about the guy trouble,, hopefully it works out,,,
Great blog and post by the way. :)
I don't believe she will make you marry him.
No way,
I don't believe & it will not be so.
What the hell?
I don't beleive that you can't do what you want.
You just need to get a job, to get you independence, then go wherever you want.
I don't believe that you can't.
Just make that guy to hate you!
I don't believe that you can't do it again.
You? You can everything, funny Dodo :D
Out of my monologue: you wanted to get married, you forgot? & I doubt that "man with his long beard and black Ray-Bans" would marry you :D
So I already don't believe that you don't want to marry. Mda... something wrong here.
Listen to me. You don't like him at all? Or you just don't want even to think of him because it's your mama choice. Yes?
And about Hijab... I will tell you a story, uh!
By the way, he wanted always to go to Australia but I never supported this idea. We will see... may be may be... Don't you want to go instead of me? :)
Just read about your dear groom.
When must you meet him?
Can't you just say when all are around: Sweetie, I don't like you at all.
& go :P
Better search for a guy who will marry you quickly to take you from the home of your mama.
Yes yes, she can be mad I guess :-/
Oh sweet baby!!! I know!!! I really do know!!! I got lucky by getting a way and having a Finnish mum that I didn’t really see for 15 years when I lived there!!! I do know how you feel!!! I was there in your shoes!! My luck was I just got a way before loosing all my life! Oh sweetie I’m feeling as if I’m living that life all over again by reading your post! I know you can’t say NO!! No one will listen! All I really could say, I’ll pry for you! I’ll really pray for you from my heart, maybe you’ll get lucky too!
I admire your honesty and outlook on life. not only do you have the guts to write your most intimate life altering experiences you also have the strentgh to stick with your mothers wishes even though you know that its not you. I think your experiances have made you who you are and i believe you are able to face obsticles such as the interview and the unwanted spouse.
goodluck
my Q is r u gonna share with him the thingz ! u done in ur past wild days ? :) and do u think he will take it ?
yeah and omech ba3ad choose ur lovers ? :)
hi :) I read your blog and if you don't mind here's what I think ..
You sound mature enough to decide 4 urself, and u should define you're relationship with Mr. Ganoo6. At the same time meet the guy..and pray este5ara prayer. I never thought I'd marry traditionally but I did :) U never know what the future will unfold dear. All the best ;)
That is probably one of the most painful posts I have ever read.
it sounds like you have access to some money. Stop spending. Squirrel your money away. If you have a chunk of change, it helps you make a getaway when the opportunity presents itself. it gives you some protection, it buys you some time.
Be careful. Do what you have to do.
We graduated from High school at the same time...& behold I have a few more weeks to go before I get my overdue 'Bachelor' degree, you're not alone love, remember that!
Deep inside, I just can never beleive that some are forced into marriage. You say NO, your parents will argue it and then what? Most people who claims they were forced into marriage ended up giving up.
Never give up and you will not be forced to marry anyone.
Dodo please say it isn't so! You can't do this if you aren't ready for it...
I know how it feels when you have your dreams and ambitions thrown out of the window because ppl think they know better for you. And i REALLY know what it feels like to want to do your masters out side of kuwait and not be able! its SO frustrating! Inshalla you end up going to Australia and doing everything you want to do :)
the way u write this makes one convinced its 100% fault of ur parents how ur life turned out. which is true, only you come out to be so smart, the way u write has a mind of its own, and im sure u know exactly where ur going and how far, and.. why. so instead of waiting for their response or apperantly no response, take a hold of ur life.
and no, you are not the poster child of kuwaiti stereotype.
Post a Comment
<< Home