Mid-Life Crisis Symptoms

Last night I was looking at my piercings in the mirror and something else caught my attention and stopped me dead in my Betty Boop socks. It was the scariest thing I had ever seen in my entire life. I'm not gonna brag about my piercings, but since I took a photo I might as well show off a bit. I know it's blurry, but you can see where some of my old piercings were, and the scars that've replaced them.
Anyway back to the point. The scary thing was that my hairline was receding! Granted I know that every time I shower or brush my hair there's always a huge clump left behind in the drain or on my brush, and all my clothes are covered in my fur, even my car seats look like some persian cats've had a fight there or something, it's even gotten to the point where I got myself one of those sticky roller thingies you sweep across surfaces to catch hair. But I always thought it was natural, especially since I'd chemically, permanently straightened my hair a while back. Plus the fact that my diet is the equivalent of dried dog kibble and I hardly ever leave my room, meaning a lack of fresh air and exercise. Amongst other factors...

But I never thought I'd see a bloody bald patch!!
Upon seeing the bald patch, mom immediately gave me a cacophony of multivitamins, hair-growth stimulators (most probably my dads), hair masks, lotions and potions, and started me up on some fresh fruits and veggies. Today I started a master cleanings diet. We'll see how that goes. She's even suggested I go on a full Detox and colon cleansing program, but I don't think I have the will and energy for something that drastic.

I've got so many pills, I feel like I'm a Jetson, and Rosie's serving me dinner in a capsule! :(