Duped

For the past year, my love life, or lack thereof, has been nothing short of catastrophic. Months of sporadic on-again-off-agains, long dry spells, short-lived doomed"romances", flings and one-night stands have caused me nothing but tears and heartache. I harbor resentment and bitterness towards most, if not all my *exes* of the past year. Oh and there's a laundry list of them.

After a sit-down and a heart-to-heart with DR, I have come to discover some bitter truths I had been hiding from myself.

When it comes to wanting a serious relationship, I have finally noticed that it's my own fault that things turn out the way they do. In me being dumped that is. Yes, yes, guilty as charged. I sabotage potentially *serious, long-term* relationships by allowing myself to unleash the proverbial horn-dog in me. Back-seat banging, phone-fucking, spit-swapping, cock-sucking, apartment-infested-with-roaches-and-used-tissue-in-a-bad-conspicuous-neighborhood-per-hour-renting, sleep-over-when-mommy-is away, rowdy raunchy randy, nasty nasty nasty horny uncontrollable Dodo.

Oh and I'm the one who usually initiates the naughtiness. LOL who am I kidding, I have to be honest with myself for once. I ALWAYS initiate the naughtiness, at the first opportunity I get. And then I wonder why the boy in question doesn't take me seriously when I ask him to knock off the cheap sex-talk and freaks out when I start acting all crazy and self-righteous and puritanical on his ass. Aint I a hoot? Hell, why would anyone want to buy the cow when they can milk it for free, eh? Don't forget the cow came to them of its own accord, its own free will too.

Besides the 24/7 insatiable unsatisfy-able horniness, I was extremely demanding and a relationship with me was very high-maintenance. I expected to be called, wined and dined, taken out, emotionally and physically satisfied, thought of and texted, written about, and basically just glorified and worshipped as a femme-fatale nympho-goddess, and treated as such. I expected to be obeyed, and my *instructions* to be carried out to the T. My word was the law, and my every wish, lover-boy's command. Every whim was to be catered to, or else all hell would break loose.

Of course it never works out the way I want it. Therefore I resort to being a whinny nagging spoilt little brat bitch.

Most people probably spent new years with friends and loved ones. Partied some. Ate some. Danced some. Laughed some. Maybe had a smooch when the clock struck 12. What did Dodo do? Watched porn and stuffed herself silly, all while lamenting her bad luck and her loveless hopeless sexless manless miserable existence.

Luck be a gentleman tonight