Sunday, January 21, 2007

Spring Break Madness

Sat my very last final exam for the semester today. I can finally breathe easy now. Hope things don't come crashing down on my head this time though, like they always do...

Picked mommy et al. from the airport a while ago. Yeah it turns out they were in Lebanon, I was right all along. They seemed happy enough 'til they got in my car and started shooting their mouths off at me.

Did Marvicks papers arrive?

Did you pick up my paper from Mansouriya?

I knew you wouldn't you lazy fat-ass cow!!

Did you check that the bathroom didn't leak when it rained today?

How much money did you burn while we were gone?
Where did you go?

Why are you turning up the stereo, I'm talking to you!

Did you get an oil change like I asked you to?


Blahty blahty blah blah blah.


My Lebanon souvenir

So it turns out that there's been a change of plans for our NY trip. 7 days in my hometown Dusseldorf, Germany, and 8 days in New York, instead of the initial 2 whole weeks in NY. Fine by me, can't ever say no to home base. Been craving Berliner's and Turkish Donner Kebabs for a while now anyway :/

We'll be hitting the skies this Thursday, and should be back on the 8th. Seeing as I had major issues with my laptop, at every single airport we popped into during our summer vacation (over 8 consecutive flights within 6 weeks; MURDER!!), Stevie wont be tagging along :( I'm gonna miss him, and all y'all :(

Anyways, besides the bagels and hot beef cakes, anyone with special requests, you know where to find me :)

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

WRONGFULLY ACCUSED IN MY FUCKING COUNTRY OF A HELL HOLE

In march 2005; there was this guy who supposedly was walking and then got into a fight with someone which resulted in that person being stabbed several times in the chest area then the stabber ran away after interference from someone who saw the fight. they both gave different descriptions of the stabber, e.g. one said he was tall dark skinned long hair and the other said hes normal height with a beard and white skinned. and gave description of the runaway car which is a black jeep one door pajero.
It just so happened my father had rented a car with the same description i.e. black one door pajero.
While my father was on his way to work a C.I.D. officer pulled him over asking if he has young sons who might have used the car? my father replied i dont know maybe my son used the car? whats the problem? officer replied bring your son to the station. So i went and the officers telling me about me stabbing some person, me being surprised i had no idea what they were talking about ??
in an hours time they got the so called "witness" which pointed me out saying he is the criminal (about me), still me being surprised... they put me in the slammer in the station and took me to the injured person in the hospital, on the way the officer talking to the injured on the phone giving him my description !! when we reached the officer said wait here and he went inside to talk to the injured person for a long ten minutes. Before we went inside for the supposed "line up" he said when you go in just say "salam" and shut up. The line up consisted of 5 ppl all officers but however 3 ppl not cuffed only i was cuffed with one officer. As i said "salam" the injured nodded giving a signal that YES thats him. Anyways I was convicted of "attempted murder" and to serve seven years in prison. I served 21 days and got out on bail until i was convicted. I appealed and the crime was changed to "Assault" and to serve 3 years and 4 months... I served about 5 months in prison then the court of appeals got me out on bail before announcing the (3 yrs 4 months) verdict he let me out on bail after serving the 5 months, then i stayed out for around a month then he sentenced me.
Now i know "innocent until proven guilty", and im innocent. Is a witness and a victim's testimony enough to convict me? (Note, after both of them giving different descriptions) that is the only thing against me and in my defence i have ALOT of things to help me against them but still the MINISTRY OF JUSTICE found me guilty!
This is bullshit! What the fuck kinda country is this? Can it be actually called a country? Anyways this is my first blog and I don’t know what to post except this weird shitty thing that happened to me so there ya go…….. this is *my* your country.. deerat el 3ezz 3ala golatna ? ay 3ezz hatha ? chombelaila hathy..
P.S vote for me to be minister of justice sometime in this lifetime.
Cheers, AGAIN THIS IS BULL SHIT !!!!!!!!
--------- man yamsa7 dam3at hatha el maskeen -------- *dam3ety ana*

Apologies

Due to the mayhem and confusion my last post caused (my fault - sorry guys) I have decided to take pictures of the *drug* I'd burnt my money on. I have an American friend (posted about him ages ago) who'd just recently come back to Kuwait. He'd brought some goodies in, and saved my stash for me. 5 packs of Slim Jims, a bucket of Reeses Pieces (I went through most of it today), a big bag of Reeses Pieces (refill for the bucket), and a couple of candy bars. This is what's left:

almost empty Reeses Pieces bucket:


whats left of the candy bars, which I'll prolly go through tonight:


my absolute favorites, Slim Jims!!:

I'm truly sorry about the misunderstanding I caused..

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

I Got Cocaine, Runnin Around Ma Brain

Monday evening:

Mom: Dodo, when does your exam end tomorrow?
Dodo: 10, why supp?
Mom: Oh good, you can drop us off at the airport then
Dodo: WHAAAAAA?!?!?

Always the last to know. Never invited to tag along... Still have no clue where they're headed or for how long, but since they're going via Jazeera, can't be going too far.

Passed out last night only to discover my notes were drool-glued to my forehead, and the clock screaming 6:30. Way to go, no time to shower or finish off the *revision* I had set out to do. Mad mad rush to get to Kaifan.

Finished the exam, headed home. Sis had just remembered that her untamed brows needed some a-grooming, and we were anxiously waiting for her so we could head out.

Drop the famoolya off, but not before I collect a few green notes.

A fix was in order. Head for the slums, ghetto city bebeeeeh aka salwa, collect me stash and burn the dough, and head back home for a much needed quick indulgence. Gotta feed the demons. Haven't heard from them in a long long time. About time we had a one-on-one. Fairy's also welcome. Talk about *guilty* pleasures haha :/

Enjoy the silence...

Where the party at?

Me noggin *wink wink*



FOR THE RECORD: I'm sorry for implying that I'd done coke. I have not. The title is from a song by Dillinger. I was just giddy that mom was out of the house, so I broke the imposed diet and got myself some bal3a from a friend in Salwa.

Monday, January 15, 2007

شعر

القلب مجروح يا ليتك تداوي
من هو غيرك اللي يروح ويجي في بالي
محد غيرك سكن قلبي وشرياني
فديت الضحكة يا احلى وأغلى ناسي
لا تطول بعادك وتقلب دنيتي مآسي
ترى القلب ضعيف بس ماهوب ناسي
, ناسي أحلى أيامي وأنا يمك أفسي
وتقولي شهالريحة؟
اقولك ماكل شباتي
انحرج منك وتردلي اياها بلحن ثاني
متى تجيني وتقولي فديتك يا بعد عمري
تراني ميت بدونك أعاني
ليتك تجي تداوي وتنهي البلاوي اللي صارت بينك وبيني
قولي احبك تراني بديت افقد صبري وإحساسي
وين ما بغيتي اذلفي لا بارك الله في اشكالك الاحوالي
هذي النهاية خلني بحالي وانساني

Sunday, January 14, 2007

New Beginnings


My blog has been missing a little bit of a special sumthin sumthin. Some spice maybe. A lot of testosterone definitely. Introducing the new co-author of my blog, my good friend ~ Drunk As Fuck ~. A little bit of spice, a little bit of special sumthin sumthin, loads of guts, plenty of oomph, and 100% testosterone. Please help me give a warm welcome to ~ Drunk As Fuck ~, welcome to the exciting world of blogging, in what I hope will be the start of a wonderful, fun writing partnership :)

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Watch Out World, Here I Come

I finally sat the IELTS exam this morning. Brrrrrrr, high school all over again! Same old IGCSE examination and answer booklets, same old booming microphone, same cold hall with ancient moldy wood desks and chairs, and rows immaculately made, down to the last millimeter. Deja-vu all over again! All the way down to the itty bitty scrap paper aka my name tag, taped down to my desk. Even the crazy metal detector and security check was made hahahahaha it was like we were in Heathrow or NASA or some crazy shit. I'm surprised they didn't do a full cavity search. Now that would be fun :P

Compared to the TOEFL, the IELTS is very unprofessional in terms of presentation and writing mode. The exam was supposed to start at 9:00 sharp, being a British exam and all, but most candidates were too dumb dumb to read the pre-examination instruction paper, which clearly indicated that nothing was permitted into the hall besides a pen and a passport, and that includes your precious Prada bag and Maserati car keys dah-lin! Ooh and don't forget to chuck your phone while you're at it, preferably in the nearest toilet bowl. Thus we didn't begin until around 9:35. Idiots.

I had woken up at around 6:30, showered, dressed and had brekky, and was on the road by 7:30, expecting the Gulf road to be congested (never been on the Gulf road this early). Thankfully it wasn't, so I was on the AUK campus by 8:00, thinking I'd be the first one at the examination hall. To my dismay, there was a long cue of around 100 candidates, mostly Indians in their Saris and suites and ties. I felt like a bum, wearing my tracksuit bottoms and a pajama top under my windbreaker fluorescent green raincoat and nothing but my passport and keys in my hand. Haha!!

Ah yes, these people take examinations way too seriously, with their binders and folders and pieces of important paper carefully tucked away in protective clear plastic or leather covers and whatnot.

I never did well in this sort of exam. Oooh especially the TOEFL. I started twiddling my thumbs halfway through and just put my head down and flat out gave up. Too lengthy and tedious, and requires much more concentration, patience and mental dexterity than I possess. Today was no different. After a few taxing minutes of staring at the comprehension passage, I resorted to wasting my time by doodling and shading in the letters on my papers, and looking around and about the hall, since we weren't allowed to leave the examination hall, under any circumstances, before the 2:45 hours were up. Gruesome! I had one thought, and only one thought in mind, and that is "I need to pee". A broken record playing over and over and over for the entire duration of the exam. Whoa I really do have a one-track mind hahahah!

Ah well, we'll find out how it really went in 2 weeks time.

The only good thing I got out of today, so far, is this gorgeous purple pencil, with the British Council emblem!

I luuurve purple :P

Anyways, so I gotsta be heading for the British Council in Mansouriya for my interview at 3:20. Hope I don't fuck that up :/

Friday, January 12, 2007

How To Lose A "Friend" In 10 Seconds

Run After Me..:p (MSN)

hi Dodo.

abi agolech shai ana dagait 3alech gabel million mara oo msjs oo maradaitai kan wara el jam3a 3la 6ool ya3ni madry eshlon medach etsafren


ba3den ba3ad fatra dashait legeitech offline oo lama kent 3end Ruru dashat legetech online

ma3naha en enty emsawyatly block






Whatchu Gone Do Wid Dat Monkey? (MSN)

mo '9ayfitich 3ala thaak il email

i have more than 5 emails






Run After Me..:p (MSN)

enty 3arfa eni a9lan makent za3lana wala ja 3ala bali eni az3al bs 3ogob makent akalmech oo matreden ba3den alage enech 3endi offline fa 9ara7a ja 3ala bali enech ma taben etkalmeni

fa etha kenty 9ej emsafra fa im soory

bs kan el mafro6' etgolely






Whatchu Gone Do Wid Dat Monkey? (MSN)

laish.. intay omy wela oboy?






Run After Me..:p (MSN)

leni swait el paper 3ala 2a5er la76'a






Whatchu Gone Do Wid Dat Monkey? (MSN)

wallah ilsalfa 9arat faj2a






Run After Me..:p (MSN)

la omech wala oboch im ur friend oo kenty wa3datny etsa3deni eb my final

mesj makan be6'er






Whatchu Gone Do Wid Dat Monkey? (MSN)

mno gal iny m5alfitich oo naseetich






Run After Me..:p (MSN)

tadren el sharha 3alai ga3da akalmech






Whatchu Gone Do Wid Dat Monkey? (MSN)

:)

ok




I'm sure you can guess who's who :)

Monday, January 08, 2007

3baid, MIA?!

Where in the world is 3baid?!


Whatever happened to 3baid's blog?!

I want him back, I want him back NOW :|

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Mid-Life Crisis Symptoms

Last night I was looking at my piercings in the mirror and something else caught my attention and stopped me dead in my Betty Boop socks. It was the scariest thing I had ever seen in my entire life. I'm not gonna brag about my piercings, but since I took a photo I might as well show off a bit. I know it's blurry, but you can see where some of my old piercings were, and the scars that've replaced them.
Anyway back to the point. The scary thing was that my hairline was receding! Granted I know that every time I shower or brush my hair there's always a huge clump left behind in the drain or on my brush, and all my clothes are covered in my fur, even my car seats look like some persian cats've had a fight there or something, it's even gotten to the point where I got myself one of those sticky roller thingies you sweep across surfaces to catch hair. But I always thought it was natural, especially since I'd chemically, permanently straightened my hair a while back. Plus the fact that my diet is the equivalent of dried dog kibble and I hardly ever leave my room, meaning a lack of fresh air and exercise. Amongst other factors...

But I never thought I'd see a bloody bald patch!!
Upon seeing the bald patch, mom immediately gave me a cacophony of multivitamins, hair-growth stimulators (most probably my dads), hair masks, lotions and potions, and started me up on some fresh fruits and veggies. Today I started a master cleanings diet. We'll see how that goes. She's even suggested I go on a full Detox and colon cleansing program, but I don't think I have the will and energy for something that drastic.

I've got so many pills, I feel like I'm a Jetson, and Rosie's serving me dinner in a capsule! :(

Friday, January 05, 2007

Little Bitch

Hey little sister, I heard you went to mister so-and-so,
Knock, knock, knocking on his door
Again last night, said you needed it bad.
You know that ain't right.
'Cause so many times you've come to me cry, crying,
Trying to stop, you said it hurts so bad
But please don't let you
Go back for more.

My little sisiter is a zombie in a body
With no soul; a role she has learned to play,
In a world today where nothing else matters.
But it matters, we gotta start feeding our souls,
Not our addictions or afflictions of pain.
To aviod the same questions we must
Ask ourselves to get any answers,
We gotta start feeding our souls...

Have been lost to the millions with lots
Who feed on addiction selling pills and what's hot.
I wish I could save her from all their delusions,
All the confusion,
Of a nation that starves for salvation.
But clothing is the closest approximation
To God and He only knows that drugs
Are all we know of love.

Ev'ry day we starve while we eat white bread
And beer instead of a handshake or hug.
We spill the pills and sweep them under the rug.
My little sister is a zombie in a body
With no soul; a role she has learned to play,
In a world today where nothing else matters.
But it matters, we gotta start feeding our souls.

Jewel- Little Sister lyrics


My baby sis is a pain in the backside. Actually she's more like a bleeding hemorrhoid up my anus :/
Today I ventured out of my room and decided to join the clan at the lunch table.

Dodo: *slurp slurp slurp*
Sis: *rolls eyes at me*
Dodo:*gulp gulp gulp*
Sis: Dodo, your eyebrows are uneven
Dodo: :/ !!
$^%(^&^%##

Ugh!!

Anyway since you people have zero appreciation for body art, I've decided to *gross* you out some more, and show you what I think is the most amazing piece of body art I've ever laid my eyes on. I totally would go for this, if only it was permanent :( Hopefully they'll create a material that doesn't migrate and get rejected by the body by the time I'm ready for it :)



Hot Or Not?

I'll be in New York by the end of the month. As is my custom, I get a new piercing every time I visit the Big Apple. This time I've got my eyes on a nape piercing. Maybe I'll go with a simple single piercing, or maybe I'll go for a funky design, something like the ones below.
I'm digging the following pattern:



Any suggestions?

Thursday, January 04, 2007

The Wrath Of The Heavens Hath Cometh Downeth

This is the entire conversation:



You might be wondering what my order was. I mean, if your order was gonna take that long, it's gotta be something spectacular, like tais mendy or something, no?

1 Alaskan crab salad
1 Smoked salmon baguette.

It's not like my crab was freshly imported from Alaska. Nor was my salmon just brought in from Iceland. Neither was my baguette zapped to Kuwait all the way from France.

A5af 9ij bas.

The order arrived at 11:35. You do the math. I'm too busy wolfing it all down. Right now I could forgive them for just about anything. This is most probably the yummiest salad I've ever had.
Glorious!
Divine I tell you!

And that concludes my lust for 6alabat.com.

On another note, I have to give a huge shout-out and thank you to Yaz for being such a good friend, for putting up with my ranting and raving about my recent addiction(I know it's gotten on your nerves), and listening to my incessant gibberish without ever once complaining. I dedicate my addiction to you! And an even bigger thank you for always being there for me whenever I need a friend or a sympathetic ear, and allowing me to use and abuse you, especially publishing my posts for me :P Heehehehehhehe. Mashkoor wayed wayed wayed wayed :****

I love you Zeez, I just might make an attempt at snatching you from your girl!

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Duped

For the past year, my love life, or lack thereof, has been nothing short of catastrophic. Months of sporadic on-again-off-agains, long dry spells, short-lived doomed"romances", flings and one-night stands have caused me nothing but tears and heartache. I harbor resentment and bitterness towards most, if not all my *exes* of the past year. Oh and there's a laundry list of them.

After a sit-down and a heart-to-heart with DR, I have come to discover some bitter truths I had been hiding from myself.

When it comes to wanting a serious relationship, I have finally noticed that it's my own fault that things turn out the way they do. In me being dumped that is. Yes, yes, guilty as charged. I sabotage potentially *serious, long-term* relationships by allowing myself to unleash the proverbial horn-dog in me. Back-seat banging, phone-fucking, spit-swapping, cock-sucking, apartment-infested-with-roaches-and-used-tissue-in-a-bad-conspicuous-neighborhood-per-hour-renting, sleep-over-when-mommy-is away, rowdy raunchy randy, nasty nasty nasty horny uncontrollable Dodo.

Oh and I'm the one who usually initiates the naughtiness. LOL who am I kidding, I have to be honest with myself for once. I ALWAYS initiate the naughtiness, at the first opportunity I get. And then I wonder why the boy in question doesn't take me seriously when I ask him to knock off the cheap sex-talk and freaks out when I start acting all crazy and self-righteous and puritanical on his ass. Aint I a hoot? Hell, why would anyone want to buy the cow when they can milk it for free, eh? Don't forget the cow came to them of its own accord, its own free will too.

Besides the 24/7 insatiable unsatisfy-able horniness, I was extremely demanding and a relationship with me was very high-maintenance. I expected to be called, wined and dined, taken out, emotionally and physically satisfied, thought of and texted, written about, and basically just glorified and worshipped as a femme-fatale nympho-goddess, and treated as such. I expected to be obeyed, and my *instructions* to be carried out to the T. My word was the law, and my every wish, lover-boy's command. Every whim was to be catered to, or else all hell would break loose.

Of course it never works out the way I want it. Therefore I resort to being a whinny nagging spoilt little brat bitch.

Most people probably spent new years with friends and loved ones. Partied some. Ate some. Danced some. Laughed some. Maybe had a smooch when the clock struck 12. What did Dodo do? Watched porn and stuffed herself silly, all while lamenting her bad luck and her loveless hopeless sexless manless miserable existence.

Luck be a gentleman tonight