Let Me Lick You Up And Down 'Til You Say Stop
Note: Post written on August 2nd, thinking I'd have access to the net. For those of you who are illiterate, scroll down for the pictures.
For the record, I'm in New York right now and not Spain. Just a reminder for my old readers and a heads up for all the newbies around my blog. Yeah I noticed a lot of new blogs have crept up while I was away, I'll try to get updated soon.
A family vacation is anything BUT an R&R affair. I wont go into too much detail. Lets just say that an 18 hour trip with a senile, physically disabled grandma, mom, sis and wacky aunt, along with tedious transits, waiting for luggage, etc, is no joyride. Believe me.
You know things aren't gonna go well when you're the last people to show up at the luggage counter at Kuwait Airport. Thank goodness that we were traveling on business class, and we were on the fast-track through most of the journey, and getting through gates and customs and all that diplomatic crap was the only breezy aspect of what we went through.
06:00 Woke up
07:30 Arrive at the airport
08:15 Done with the luggage counter
08:30 Carry-on luggage taken away from us at the plane gate (assholes!)
09:00 Flight take-off
15:00 Arrive at Heathrow Airport (12:00 Heathrow Time)
During our transit at Heathrow, my aunt and grandma decided to sit and "relax" in the business lounge, while me, mom, and sis went around checking out the shops. I was seriously stressed, so I went on a serious alcohol testing rampage. I tried some cocktail Pimms, which was yummy (tasted like tangerine more than anything else) and had some Vodka White Diamond straight up, which was so strong I started hyperventilating as soon as it went down my throat, much to my mom and sisters delight, who enjoyed having a bit of a giggle for the first time in the day.
I also got hit on by a Rastafari, which was really awesome and totally made my day! He was in the complete Rasta getup, humongous dreads which were held in a fish-net kinda head cap thingy (hilarious), and baggy beach clothes. He was just missing a spliff and a stoned mutt. Very cute!
18:30 (15:30 Heathrow Time) Board second plane and head for Malaga. Helped myself to a few of my customary Bloody Mary's. Tomato juice, Worchester sauce, Smirnoff, ice, a slice of lime, and plenty of salt and pepper. Made me chill a bit.
22:00 (19:00 Heathrow Time) (21:00 Local Costa Del Sol Time) Arrive at Malaga International
Our luggage that was taken from us at the gate in Kuwait Airport doesn't arrive. It included my grandmas wheelchair, and my bag full of bukhour, mobile phones, camcorders and digicams.
My grandma's wheelchair had been wrapped up in that plastic stuff provided at airports. Every time something wrapped in plastic went round on the luggage conveyor belt, she would croak "hatha?" and me and sis would croak back an unisonous "no". It was cute at first, but after the millionth time she'd said it, and with the same luggage rotating over and over, it was just .... AAARGH!!!
The baggage that does arrive gets searched, thanks to my moron mom who loaded the bags with Kraft cheese (WTF WAS SHE THINKING!?!?!?!). Those were confiscated and thrown away. When the customs workers weren't looking, she tried to run after the janitor in an attempt to retrieve her precious cheese. Thank God the glass had cracked and she was forced to move on without it. Awwww :|
My mom rented a car before we got here. Evidently her name wasn't on the list, and her 280 KD's worth of money had gone down the drain. She ended up paying around 1000 KD here, for the rental, insurance, and the rest of the paperwork.
00:00 (21:00 Heathrow Time) ( 23:00 Local) Finally arrive at our apartment with the rental.
00:30 (21:30 Heathrow Time) (23:30 Local) Have dinner at the fish joint downstairs. Yum
We were greeted by every single Gulfie that passed by (usually with a glare, but there were the occasional few who actually came up and said hi) while we were at the restaurant. I find out from mom that Om Osamah had wanted to marry one of her sons off to either me or sis, and mom had blatantly said no. Cracks me up into hysterical fits of laughter.
Baby Sis
A dude making sure he isn't disturbed while he gets his snooze on
An old-timer drooling in his sleep
I apologize for the lack of pics, but you know, security and all that put a damper on my shutter-bug fever. I made up for it though throughout the rest of the vacation, so I promise I'll flood my blog with pictures within the next couple of days or something.
For the record, I'm in New York right now and not Spain. Just a reminder for my old readers and a heads up for all the newbies around my blog. Yeah I noticed a lot of new blogs have crept up while I was away, I'll try to get updated soon.
A family vacation is anything BUT an R&R affair. I wont go into too much detail. Lets just say that an 18 hour trip with a senile, physically disabled grandma, mom, sis and wacky aunt, along with tedious transits, waiting for luggage, etc, is no joyride. Believe me.
You know things aren't gonna go well when you're the last people to show up at the luggage counter at Kuwait Airport. Thank goodness that we were traveling on business class, and we were on the fast-track through most of the journey, and getting through gates and customs and all that diplomatic crap was the only breezy aspect of what we went through.
06:00 Woke up
07:30 Arrive at the airport
08:15 Done with the luggage counter
08:30 Carry-on luggage taken away from us at the plane gate (assholes!)
09:00 Flight take-off
15:00 Arrive at Heathrow Airport (12:00 Heathrow Time)
During our transit at Heathrow, my aunt and grandma decided to sit and "relax" in the business lounge, while me, mom, and sis went around checking out the shops. I was seriously stressed, so I went on a serious alcohol testing rampage. I tried some cocktail Pimms, which was yummy (tasted like tangerine more than anything else) and had some Vodka White Diamond straight up, which was so strong I started hyperventilating as soon as it went down my throat, much to my mom and sisters delight, who enjoyed having a bit of a giggle for the first time in the day.
I also got hit on by a Rastafari, which was really awesome and totally made my day! He was in the complete Rasta getup, humongous dreads which were held in a fish-net kinda head cap thingy (hilarious), and baggy beach clothes. He was just missing a spliff and a stoned mutt. Very cute!
18:30 (15:30 Heathrow Time) Board second plane and head for Malaga. Helped myself to a few of my customary Bloody Mary's. Tomato juice, Worchester sauce, Smirnoff, ice, a slice of lime, and plenty of salt and pepper. Made me chill a bit.
22:00 (19:00 Heathrow Time) (21:00 Local Costa Del Sol Time) Arrive at Malaga International
Our luggage that was taken from us at the gate in Kuwait Airport doesn't arrive. It included my grandmas wheelchair, and my bag full of bukhour, mobile phones, camcorders and digicams.
My grandma's wheelchair had been wrapped up in that plastic stuff provided at airports. Every time something wrapped in plastic went round on the luggage conveyor belt, she would croak "hatha?" and me and sis would croak back an unisonous "no". It was cute at first, but after the millionth time she'd said it, and with the same luggage rotating over and over, it was just .... AAARGH!!!
The baggage that does arrive gets searched, thanks to my moron mom who loaded the bags with Kraft cheese (WTF WAS SHE THINKING!?!?!?!). Those were confiscated and thrown away. When the customs workers weren't looking, she tried to run after the janitor in an attempt to retrieve her precious cheese. Thank God the glass had cracked and she was forced to move on without it. Awwww :|
My mom rented a car before we got here. Evidently her name wasn't on the list, and her 280 KD's worth of money had gone down the drain. She ended up paying around 1000 KD here, for the rental, insurance, and the rest of the paperwork.
00:00 (21:00 Heathrow Time) ( 23:00 Local) Finally arrive at our apartment with the rental.
00:30 (21:30 Heathrow Time) (23:30 Local) Have dinner at the fish joint downstairs. Yum
We were greeted by every single Gulfie that passed by (usually with a glare, but there were the occasional few who actually came up and said hi) while we were at the restaurant. I find out from mom that Om Osamah had wanted to marry one of her sons off to either me or sis, and mom had blatantly said no. Cracks me up into hysterical fits of laughter.
Baby Sis
A dude making sure he isn't disturbed while he gets his snooze on
An old-timer drooling in his sleepI apologize for the lack of pics, but you know, security and all that put a damper on my shutter-bug fever. I made up for it though throughout the rest of the vacation, so I promise I'll flood my blog with pictures within the next couple of days or something.
posted by Extinct Dodo at 4:45 AM
5 Comments:
Traveling isn't easy. You need to plan everything out and be able to manage alternatives for emergencies :/
alternatives like what? a lethal dose of morphine LOL?
Loooool…that Kraft cheese, its always the freakin Kraft cheese. Did she pack any Tac salty crackers??
Your lil sis is a cutie, Mashallah. If it runs in the family, you must all be picture perfect!
truthseeker... yeah she packed those little circle salty crackers that come in yellow packs, i forgot the name, yeah maybe they're tac. thank God she didnt bring a sack of rice though :|
tainted female.. she might be all sweet and purty on the outside, but shes the devil incarnate i swear :|
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