Ingratitude

You'll never know how much you hurt me.
All the unconditional love i ever gave to you, you abused and turned as a weapon against me. The fruit of my labor, my sweat, my tears, my time, my pain.. was rewarded with nothing but ungratefulness.
No one could have possibly loved you, with all your faults and flaws, your imperfections and quirks, half as much as i did.
Not even your own mother.
Not once did you look at what i was sacrificing to please you. Not once did you turn a blind eye to my inadequacy, my failure to satisfy. I always seem to come short with you.
Im sorry.
I cant keep my emotions bottled in any longer. Im not as good in repressing the way i feel as you are.
I tried my best.
My hardest.
I failed to comply.
With your standard requirements.
Isnt that funny. You manage to always make me feel unappreciated. I manage to think you're inconsiderate. And we end up pointing fingers whilst the hurt and hatred between us tears the bridge of reconciliation far beyond any hope of repair.
I never asked you to love me. I never expected it. I know you are incapable of any sort of humane emotion.
Towards me.
No.
All i needed was to feel accepted by you for being who i am. To forgive me for the way i have turned out to be.
To understand.
Unconditionally.
I needed to be acknowledged by you. By the person who meant the most to me in this entire world. To bask in the eternal shadow of your presence.
Appreciated.
You.
But then you dealt my love a deadly blow.
I saw you for the first time for what you really are.
And that realization has taken my breath away.
Oh how i blinded myself into believing you could do me no harm. That you loved me as i loved you.
Selfish. Self-righteous. Immoral.
Cruel. Indecent. Ingenuine.
How could you look me in the eye when you had such pure distaste and manage to never flinch. Oh your pride.
How i loved your imperfect perfection. How i showered you with my profused confessions of immortal admiration.

How you let me down.