Mutations

Have you seen my Childhood?

I'm searching for the world that I come from

'Cause I've been looking around

In the lost and found of my heart...

No one understands me

They view it as such strange eccentricities...

'Cause I keep kidding around

Like a child, but pardon me...

People say I'm strange that way

'Cause I love such elementary things,

It's been my fate to compensate,

for the Childhood I've never known...

Have you seen my Childhood?

I'm searching for that wonder in my youth

Like fantastical stories to share

The dreams I would dare, watch me fly...

Michael Jackson- Childhood

I'm grateful. I'm better off, more privileged and fortunate than most people. My life is comfortably luxurious. But who gives a flying fuck?
If you were to ask me what I've accomplished that I'm most proud of, or what part of my life I'm happiest about, hands down I would have to say my childhood. No questions asked. Unlike some people who would boast about the car their parents bought for them or the top-notch private schools they attended, or the elite posh children that they befriended.
I remember bits and pieces of my childhood so vividly; they could've happened an instant ago. Like when we moved out of our apartment in Hawalli and into our new house. I remember how I marveled at our humongous back yard. The lazy days when I would chase those beautiful butterflies with a fish net are still emblazoned in my mind. How my dad would carry me around on his shoulders and I would think he was the tallest, strongest man alive. I remember going to school with a lunchbox that my mom would pack for me the night before. My lunchbox was always full of goodies. I would be ecstatic all morning long, just waiting for lunchtime to come so I could discover what surprises my mom had left for me. A banana, an apple, an orange, or a few grapes maybe? A cucumber sandwich? Crisps? Chocolate milk, or is it strawberry? Hmmm or maybe my favourite treat, a carton of yummy buttermilk? And swapping goodies with my classmates was always fun...
I remember going on those long summer holidays, after which I would come back with a suitcase full of books. I collected the entire 'Goosebumps' series, as well as 'Sweet Valley High'. But my favourite was the 'Point Horror' collection. I would always go on holiday and come back with the latest, greatest books. They were my prized possessions.
I'm so glad to be a child of the 90's. A product of the pre-internet era. When innocence was still pure and the sanctity of childhood was passionately guarded. When souls were still untarnished and wholesome.
Living as a mature adolescent in the 21st century is difficult for me. I can only wonder how people older than me are coping with the overwhelming speed of the times. The conditions children live in today are just atrocious. I even feel a little squeamish about using the word ‘child’. These poor souls don’t even know what it means to be a child. Being thrown into this world as a full-fledged adult, with so many responsibilities at such a tender age has got to be a strenuous burden.
I feel sick in my stomach when I witness child behavior these days. Their loud-mouthed, disrespectful, arrogant, rude attitudes are beyond me. And some of the outrageous things children come up with and say make my jaw drop a few inches- literally. I wouldn’t have dared talk back at an adult when I was a child, the way so many youngsters have gotten accustomed to doing recently. It’s like they have a disregard of everyone and everything.
I was flipping through a calendar, and what I saw made me nauseous. Children not much older than 7 or 8 ‘playing’ with their laptops and PDA’s. I do understand that these children were born at a time when technological advancement is in full throttle, and I’m all for technology. But when technology comes at such a high price, when it starts robbing people and depriving them of something as precious as ones childhood, I have to put my foot down and say no. How could these images be anywhere near ‘cute’, or healthy, for that matter? Whatever happened to going to the park and playing on the swings? Whatever happened to making crowns of daisy chains? Whatever happened to twirling buttercups under your friend's or crush's chins? Whatever happened to waiting impatiently every Friday afternoon for the ice-cream truck to pass by? King of the castle, anyone? Cowboys and Indians? Where have all the cowboys gone?
Children obsessed with the latest fashion, like their adult peers, is normal. But when their guardians pursue these whims, and make their children materialistically dependent at such an early stage in life has got to be the most damaging thing a parent does to their child. No wonder so many people today blindly, mindlessly mimic, without thinking for themselves whether what they’re doing is beneficial to them or not. Whether it goes with or against their beliefs, opinions, ethics and ideals in life or not. They have completely lost their sense of individuality. But did it ever exist to begin with?

I can’t honestly say that I blame them. Growing up without proper guidance, no stability in the household, no discipline, too much ‘freedom’ (parents excuse for not caring less), not enough nurture, love, affection, patience, care, attention, resilience... the parents indifference to the importance of instilling in their children a sense of success, self worth and achievement… the list goes on.
I look at this generation, and feel my heart overflow with such grief and sorrow. The demise of so many young souls. The downfall of our nation.
I can see it so clearly… and it scares me to death.